Well, isn't this a surprise. I have been out for most of today and have only just sat down after feeding Yahska. Although I need to go back out later on to go shopping, I have some time, so I thought why not do some writing.
Shall we begin?
The title of this blog is a quote from The Doctor, Doctor Who, Season 5, Episode 13
I actually want to start this blog off with a quote. I often have a search around for ones that jump out at me and today I have found the perfect one.
“I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You’d never know it, but there are most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you’re feeling abandoned. Maybe because you realise that you aren’t as self-sufficient as you thought. Maybe because you know you should’ve handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren’t as good as you thought you were. Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity…Or you can suck it up. It’s your call.” -J.D, Scrubs.
I know I have spoken a lot about not wondering about the what ifs and just living your life to the best in can be. I know I have said not to dwell on situations and feel bad about them. But sometimes you have to. I think that is the only way you will learn from your mistakes is to think about what happened so it doesn't happen next time. Or what you can do better should the opportunity arise again. It's difficult, I of all people know. Even to this day, I dwell on the past and feel bad about some situations. It only happens when I get in my head too much, but I know deep down that it shouldn't happen at all. I know that what is done, is done, just like I said in my last blog.
It's never as simple as that. I don't think we are wired that way. I suppose some people can just shrug a situation off and carry on as normal, almost as if it had never happened. But i know there are people like me who overthink and worry and panic about the smallest thing when there is nothing to be done.
I am tired of overthinking things, of worrying about what might go wrong and what the consequences might be. However, I have been this way for as long as I can remember so it is going to be very difficult to break the cycle. I shouldn't care what people think, but I do. Especially those close to me. I don't like upsetting or worrying people. I think that's why I have been keeping so much to myself recently. I know that's not healthy in the slightest and even though I am not outright telling you all my problems in these blogs, I feel a little better about talking about it. That's what we all need to remember, that talking about our issues with a close friend or family members can do us the world of good.
There are people out in the world that are struggling the same as me and you., It all depends on how we deal with it. we all have our own coping mechanisms, some better than others. But tomorrow will be a new day, where the potabilities are endless and anything can happen, both good and bad.
And it's okay not to be okay. It's alright if you don't want to talk to people if you get angry or upset about a situation. You need to let it out, you can bottle it up forever. And it's alright to feel those emotions. truly is is. But there comes a point where you have to pick yourself up and move on with your life. There will be bad days and good days. And it is so easy to forget the good things that happen and just think about the bad things.
So here is what I am going to start doing. I am going to write down every good thing that happens throughout the day, no matter how small and insignificant is may seem. Then, when I feel particularly low and down, I'll go back and read my achievements. I might even post the good ones on here. To show you all that you can find the smallest sliver of hope in an otherwise dreadful day.
"Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it....Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery," -Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Life is difficult. It is messy and haphazard and a number of things that can go wrong are just not worth thinking about. Because you will lose what precious time we have on this earth. We only get one shot at this. One chance and then that is it. I'm tired of wasting time and energy on worrying, I can't do it anymore. I know it is time for things to change and maybe they will. Maybe tomorrow I will feel differently. But right here, right now as I write this, things are going to change. And if people don't like it, well, sod them. You have to let some people go from time to time. there will always be new friends along the way. Things cant stay the same forever, how else will we improve move on with our lives?
I'll leave you with some quotes.
"Even if the vast numbers make you feel insignificant. Just know that even one person can move mountains. Each and every one of you can be the start of something incredible." -Markiplier.
“I am what I am an’ I’m not ashamed. ‘Never be ashamed,’ my ol’ dad used ter say, ‘there’s some who’ll hold it against you, but they’re not worth bothern’ with.’”--Hagrid, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
I will get some writing up tomorrow so keep an eye out for that.
Until the next time.