Welcome once more to my rambles about my life. I do hope you enjoy them. I mean, I am going to be writing them for a long time regardless. But I hope there are some of you out there who look forward to my blogs.
Anyway, shall we crack on?
The title of the blog is a lyric from the song There Are Bad Times Just Around the Corner by Frank Turner. I am aware that others have also done this song, but I only know the above version,As I write this, I am once more in a café in the centre of Derby, eating crumpets and waiting for my green tea to cool down so I can drink it. Wow, I just made myself sound really middle class. Not that I have a problem with that. But I am as working class as they come. Now, I’m remembering an argument I have regularly with one of my uni friends. But I’ll not tell you about that, don’t want to embarrass him.
I was going to do some writing yesterday, however as I settled down to do some, I found that my laptop was dead. I thought it was charged up as I was working on it the night before. Obviously not. So I had to do the vast majority of yesterday’s creative writing on my phone. Good job my phone is still up to date.
From where I am sat, I can people watch freely without feeling too obvious. I prefer to take a window seat whenever I go to cafes. No idea why. I feel a little too exposed without a wall next to me. No, you’re mad, not me. And as I have said before, people watching is good, it can give you inspiration and ideas for stories. It’s easy to question why a certain person may look sad or happy. Maybe what they are carrying in a bad. If you see a lone person suddenly embraced by another, it’s easy to imagine their relationship. You can form lives around that one person who bumps into you. And anyway, it’s very unlikely you will ever see that person again, so what’s the harm?
Take me. I am certain that there a few people who are sat around me wondering what I am doing, what I’m writing. Why I have a Guide Dog by my feet. I often see people with earphones in and wonder what they are listening to. Is it pop, or are they listening to an audiobook? Are they tapping their fingers against the leg or nodding along to the music?
All these little things are brilliant. It’s what I love about human nature. No one person you will meet will be the same as the next. Everyone is different, each with a different personality and mannerism. We all think differently, all have induvial ideas of what we find right and wrong. We were all brought up differently. Even if people can hurt you and break your heart. Even if they are there for you in your darkest hour or they abandon you when you needed them most. We are all different, we are individual. And most of all, we are all human. We can only take so much until we snap. And I think we tend to forget that, as a race. We are all as strong as we want to be, some more so than others. But that’s alright. It takes every type of person to make their world what it is. Don’t be afraid of who or what you are. I’m not.
I think that’s why I became a writer. When this world becomes a little bit too much when I feel so overwhelmed that I can barely breathe, I can go into a world of my own, maybe that’s why I love fandoms so much too. We all need an escape. There is so much doom and gloom going on at the moment, it’s very easy to buckle and feel awful. I don’t really watch the news anymore for this reason. If anything major happens, I will hear about it one way or another. I am always on social media now that it is very unlikely that I will miss something.
However, I have been thinking about that a lot recently. I mean, social media, the internet, blogs and so on, it’s all well and good to be connected and up to date. But I don’t think we are living. We spend so much time on our phones and laptops that I think we miss the important things in life. Like seeing friends and going out for walks. Things were much simpler when I was a child. I grew up in the 2000s and didn’t have access to a computer until I was in late secondary school. I had a phone, but it wasn’t like the ones we have nowadays. I was much more concerned about going out after school and calling for my friends. Do kids still do that today?
We used to make our own entertainment. I remember performing Doctor Who scenes with my friends and creating dance routines to songs. I don’t think the younger generation do that anymore. They are too concerned with the latest phone or accessory or game. I still see kids out and about in feral gangs, which never fails to put me on edge. But, there’s a part of me that thinks they don’t know how to play anymore. And I mean with their imagination, not online or anything like that.
Circling back to my point about why I became a writer, the more I sit here thinking about it, the more I realise that I want to continue that childhood imagination I had. I think we all want to go back to our early years and be a child again, No reasonability, we didn’t know what the real world was like, we were oblivious to the dark things in this world. We didn’t know that it was like to experience horrible situations, to feel emotions so extreme that it would make minutes seem like hours.
Yeah, it was definitely easier to be a child.
I found that problems in adulthood are not spoken about until it was too late. I think I mentioned in other blogs that mental health was not discussed until I started at university. I don't think we are prepared for what is going to happen once you leave school. No one tells you how to "adult". You have to figure it out for yourself. Learn the hard way. But there is a small part of me that like s that. Because we mature that way, we learn about the world. It would be so easy if everything was handed to us on a plate. But like doesn't work that way. It's trail and error. And that's what makes us who we are.
There are times when I hate who I am. And that has taken a lot of guts for me to say that to all of you. And I know that I shouldn't, but I do. Sometimes. I never have enough faith in myself, its always been the same. But I have found that writing these blogs has really helped me. It's given me a voice at times when I don't want to talk to people about what's going on. Becuase I don't like worrying those around me. And I know there will be some people I know who will read this and may feel bad or whatever. But they shouldn't. it's my own choice to write blogs and talk about my thoughts and feelings. I confide in those around me when I feel ready as I think many of us do.
I guess that's just me. My insecticides and mental health issues are what makes me human. And to some of you, I may go on about my own problems way too much. But I don't really talk about them to friends or family. I just get on. It's only when I write when everything comes flooding out. We all need a release, we all need to unburden ourselves once in a while. And, like I have said before, I would like to think that there is someone reading this who may be experiencing the same thing as me.
I've always said that if I can reach out to one person, make one individual smile as they read these blogs, then I've done a good.
Just remember that you are only human. You can only do so much. And I don't want any of you to be afraid to express who you are. There will always be that one person who will not like you for whatever reason. But sod them, they don't matter. Find your voice and use it. Say what we are all thinking. Someone has to do it. So why can't you?
I'll leave you with these quotes,
"Sometimes people aren’t just sad with existing it’s that they’re sad because they’re existing, and they don’t feel like they should be, or they like, they’re not happy, they feel like they should be happy their situation is happy but they themselves are not happy." -Jacksepticeye.
"I am always happier when I get to try new things, and I think that is key to any project. So whatever your doing out there…and whatever I’m doing, just keep trying new things. Always try to learn, and always try to push yourself beyond what you could do before." -Markiplier
"Go out there, enjoy yourself, make the most of what you have because none of us knows how long we have on this plane of existence, none of us know what lies beyond this; this state of being; a lot of us wish for things that are beyond this, a lot of us are waiting for that, but we don't know and because we don't know, I say that that makes trying worth it right now. You can wait all you want for great things to happen, but why not to try to make them happen right now because none of us knows whats going to happen tomorrow. So, try your best right now and what you have in this situation that you're in at this moment in time, you don't have to do amazing things, but as long as you're trying your best to make the most of it then that's a success in my mind, so just don't take anything for granted." -Jacksepticeye
"We can all change our lives by making one decision and in doing so that can ripple across the whole word and that’s, really really cool to hear, and really cool to learn." -Markiplier.
Until the next time.