I've been thinking about time a lot recently.
For the eagle eyed among you, (or perhaps the Whovians) the title of this entry is from the Doctor Who episode, The Lazarus Experiment.
However, that isn't what this blog is about.
I want discuss time.
Today I lost one of my all time favourite actors. Sir John Hurt.
Time took him from us and that is something I will never accept. It has taken a lot of people from us over the past year. Too many brilliant people. Their time ran out. As will everyones, one day.
Time has a habit of slipping through our fingers without us noticing. An hour can whizz by in a blink a eye and we won't ever get that time back. Lost hours and lost days where we could have done so much more.
Lives can speed past, precious moments can be forgotten ad replaced, events missed and people erased from our memories.
We all know what its like. When you're reading a book that you can't put down and suddenly you look up and five hours has past, we never get over the shock of how dark it's got.
"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff" Doctor Who, Blink (2007)
This is one of my favourite quotes of all time. It's very accurate, because it's not just cause and effect, there are many more variations that can happen to any one situation. We choose what happens, we make the initial decision. But the rest is out of our hands.
As a writer, a simple decision of sending off a piece of work to a publisher could end brilliantly or end in rejection. If we have to wait for a response, it feels like the day will never come. And suddenly it will arrive and it'll all be over in a flash. And we'll wonder why we spent all that time worrying. We could have been doing something else instead of willing our phones to ring and constantly refreshing our inbox.
All that time wasted. You'll never get it back.
Its so easy to say "what if". Its too easy to fixate on the past and debate with your conscious what you should have done differently, what you shouldn't have said and how you should have acted instead.
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.
It seems to be that we are all against time in one way or another. We all have deadlines to meet, things to do before the shops close, we have appointments and meetings to get to, events to remember and attend.
It sometimes feels like there are not enough hours in a a day, sometimes the day flies past without us really getting anything done. But sometimes it feels like a day has lasted for a week and we want nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep. We've all felt like that. And we always will.
Days can pass into weeks, weeks into months and months into years. It sometimes feels like we have achieved nothing in a day. Whereas in others, we have achieved everything and more.
The tile of this post speaks for itself.
"Some people live more in twenty years than others do in eighty" Doctor Who, The Lazarus Experiment (2007)
I'll leave you with an extract from one of my short pieces of writing. See Ice for the full piece.
All she could hear was the clock.
Turning her head, she glares at the clock. It was mocking her, the hands of time were laughing, reminding her of the passage of time as it slid unyielding through her fingertips.
He was late again. He’s always late, liked to keep her dangling on a thread until she’d almost given up and lost all hope, until she was collecting her things and beginning to head home. Then he would sweep in, without a care in the world and gather her into his arms as if nothing had happened.
Until the next time.