My goodness, how time flies when you're not really having fun! I really do apologize for the lack of content, I'll explain more later on, but MERRY CHRISTMAS. As I write this, its currently Christmas Eve so I thought I would try and get something up before the big day and spread some Christmas cheer.
And the title of this blog is once again a lyric from the wonderful Frank Turner and the song Love Forty Down.
Anyway, shall we crack on?
First of all, I apologize for any spelling and grammar mistakes, spell check is really not on my side today.
It has been an extraordinarily busy past few couple of weeks. From trying to get my submissions ready for uni and other life stuff, I have found little time to myself and no motivation just to sit down and write so that is why I disappeared off the face of the Earth. This is my last year at Derby uni so I am trying to make sure I get the grade I want and need for when I graduate. It’s all very exciting and very scary, but it needs to be done. This links very nicely with the tile of this blog, funny how some things work out.
Alongside this, I have been asked to partake in an exciting project which will hopefully, fingers crossed, be a massive stepping stone in my professional writing career, But I shan't be giving any spoilers away yet until I know that it is definitely going ahead. No use in getting peoples hopes up for nothing, I've had way too much of that recently. And even if it falls through then at least I have some experience in the real world as a writer and can carry that with me. I really do sound like I'm writing a reflective piece for uni, sorry about that.
As this is my final year of my degree, I've been looking at doing a Masters. I went to Liverpool a few weeks ago and love it so very much. Again, I won't be giving much away as it’s all up in the air at the moment, but with any luck, things will start to fall into place. I've been working very hard on my dissertation as well. I love researching it and writing the actual final submission, but editing is taking its toll on me. True writers’ problem right there. But I am determined to try and get as much as I can complete before I go back to uni at the end of January. It's something to keep me occupied and allow me a little more time come April and May when it’s all steam ahead for the final deadline.
I am very grateful to have my friends home for Christmas. As they live so far away, I don't get to see them as much as I would like so having them all here where I can see them regularly, at least for a few weeks means the world to me. Because I think that people get a little wayward at Christmas. I call it silly season. Everyone rushes about, people get ignored or forgotten. Arguments occur and friendships and relationships start to fall apart. That's what I've noticed a lot these past few weeks. And it can be even worse for someone experiencing mental illness. The holidays can be hard.
But know this, no one is standing in your way apart from yourself. Friends will come and go, you'll find your true ones when they stick by you no matter what. It's that kind of friends you should cling to. They are the ones who really matter. You will just drift apart from some people, I know I definitely have. And it doesn't matter what age you are, it can happen to anyone. I don't understand why I should bother with people who don't contact me for weeks on end and then expect everything to return to normal as if nothing has happened. Sure, other people have their own lives and their own problems to deal with, but could a text every once in a while hurt? No, it’s five seconds out of your day to let someone know you care about them. Maybe that text will be their saving grace, maybe it will keep them going whilst they are in the middle of a panic attack. Look out for those you truly care about, because there are some people out there who will waste your time and not return the same gestures to you. I've found out that I can't be nice to everyone I meet because I will not get it in return. Sometimes you have to say what you think and screw the consequences, as scary as they might be. But you never are really alone. There's always someone on the end of a phone call or a text. There is someone who cares, I promise. Because I've been in that position and it’s horrible. It will pass.
As for me, I'm going to continue writing. I will get my degree and finish my project on my own. And there is going to be some people who won't like that, but it gets to a point where I find it hard to care anymore. Sometimes people will like you and others won't. It will be difficult and there will be issues in the way that seems impossible to solve. But right now, at this moment in time, I'm okay. I might not be tomorrow, but I am right now. And that is what I am clinging to. There is always a way around a problem, there is always someone who will help. I think you've just got to keep pushing, keep looking. Hang onto that passion and that drive and never let go. It will all fall into place, its just making that first step or carrying on when it feels like the whole world Is against you. But who else is going to do it for you?
I'll leave you with these quotes from the Youtuber Jacksepticeye,
Life’s weird, but life is fantastic -Jack (Far From Noise)
It doesn’t matter if your passion is arranging shoes or something like that, whatever you enjoy doing, whatever makes you happy, whatever you feel like gives you that drive to get up the morning and you feel like you really want to do something (…) that- it’s so important that you find that in your life
Doing what is easiest and simplest is not always a good idea. Sometimes it’s the hardest stuff that is the best stuff to do
No matter what thing you’re doing, no matter what job you’re doing, no matter how much you love it, it’s not easy and simple 100% of the time
How do you know what’s truly good if you never feel what’s truly bad? You have to have some of the dark times to be able to experience the light every now and then
Life’s full of secrets. You just gotta go looking for them- Jack, (Super Mario Odyssey- Part 7 (END)).
You can wait all you want for great things to happen, but why not try to make them happen right now because none of us know what’s going to happen tomorrow.— Jack (What Remains Of Edith Finch - Part 3)
And one very special quote for me,
As long as you’re writing from your heart and writing honestly, that’s art and no one should ever judge you for that. -Jack, (Doki Doki Literature Club- Part 1).
Till the next time.