Hello all and welcome once more to my wonderful world. I apologise for not being active, uni has been very busy recently and it’s less than a month until my deadlines. So I will not be active as I usually am over the next few weeks.
But let's crack on, shall we?
Before I start, I should probably mention that the title of this blog is the title of a song by Michael Buble. I recently discovered this song by watching to a fan video in the Harry Potter fandom.
As I have mentioned above, I have been really quite busy with university. I only have a week left of lectures then it is the Easter holiday. As soon as we get back from this, deadlines are waiting for me. I cannot wait for this semester to be over. I mean, I'm not entirely sure what I’m going to do with myself until September when I start my third year, but I’m sure I'll struggle through. I do plan on being much more active and I can't wait to get back into writing for the fun of it, not because I have got deadlines.
This semester has been one of the worst I have ever had. I have enjoyed the assessments and modules, but there has been one in particular that I can’t wait to see the back off. The thing that most cheered me up was when my Harry Potter stuff came last week. I am in Ravenclaw so I decided to treat myself and buy a Ravenclaw scarf and lanyard. Even though it is now technically spring and I won’t be able to wear my scarf as much as I would like, I am still very happy with my purchases, even if I did spend way too much money. Never mind that, student finance will be going in next week, that's a reason to celebrate, isn't it? Hello? Anyone there?
Another reason that I am trying to carry on and make it to the end of the semester is the fact one of my close friends is home from university. As she lives all the way down in Falmouth, I don't get to see her as often as I would like. And she has recently passed her driving test so now we can go anywhere we want, we aren't restricted to buses. It's sad that I will never be able to drive, I have to rely on public transport and taxis, when I can afford such a luxury that is. I love going on drives, watching the world fly past the window as we doing badly along to songs. It's all very clique and slightly cheesy, but I love it. And I know that I will not be able to go on many drives in the upcoming years. My friends will move away once more to start their own lives. They will get into relationships, get jobs and potentially start a family. Life moves on and I have to accept that, as much as I hate things changing.
So I will make the most of these trips out and cherish the time I spend with my friends. I love going to new places and exploring. I think this is because recently my eyesight has worsened a little. One day I will lose my remaining eyesight and go completely blind. Of course this might happen tomorrow, twenty year time or it may never happen. But I will make the most of my remaining eyesight, this is the main reason I have gone to uni, it’s the reason I am considering a master’s degree in creative writing or something similar. I know that deep down I am capable of doing really amazing things. I wouldn't say I am clever, but I have a passion for the written word, for learning and discovering something new. I like being in education, I like challenging myself, even if it does get stressful at times and I want to give up. But I don't. Because then I will be a failure to myself and I don't want that. I do want to make something of my life, I want to get a job and push myself into situations I am not comfortable with. Because it will show me and those around me that just because I am visually impaired, I am not going to sit around all day, not earning and living off benefits. That is my nightmare, I would hate that life. Of course for some, they have to do that. But not me. I can do things, I just need to gain a little more confidence and self-esteem to get there. We are capable of doing anything we want, we just have to push ourselves sometimes.
However, I think that this is important to allow ourselves time to be alone. As I have mentioned in other blogs, I prefer to be alone, I like solitude, to ignore the world outside and just focus on whatever it is I am doing. I am generally useless when it comes to human interaction, I am a very awkward person and will make a fool of myself on a daily basis over the smallest things imaginable. That's just who I am and I accept that. And so should everyone else. Embrace your quirks and differences because there isn't another person like you. Even if it feels as though the world is crumbling around you and there is no escape, there are people out there who care a great deal for you. It's alright to stumble and to fall. You aren't a failure at all. It is just a little blip, a hiccup. It may feel like the end of the world, but it’s not I promise you. It will get better.
I’ll leave you with this quote,
“You look sad. When you think he can’t see you. Are you okay? And don’t just say you are, because I know what that means, looking sad when you think no one can see you.” Molly Hooper – “The Reichenbach Fall, Sherlock.
Until the next time.