Spring is well and truly upon us. Have we all been enjoying the wonderful weather? I know I have, although it has been a little hard to work Yashka over the weekend. But never mind that. It's the Easter holidays! Yay... I mean its like kids are never at school anymore, it seems like they are always off. Very controversial I know, but I do get easily intimated by gangs of children. I shouldn't because I am like twice their age. But hey ho, let's crack on shall we?
The title of this blog is from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, one of my all time faveriote movies.
As I am writing this, I am currently in a study room at university. Teaching has officially finished for Easter and the campus is eerily quiet although there are still people here. Uni still carries on, even if there are no lectures on. I know that many third years are working on their dissertations. That will be me this time next year. It's scary to think I have been at Uni for almost two years. I remember the day my A-Levels came out, I remember looking at UCAS and seeing that Derby had accepted me.
Funny how time flies, isn't it?
So much has happened this past year. It was nine months on Saturday that I became a fully-fledged Guide Dog owner. I mean, nine months. It's gone so quick. And I know that it won't slow down.
That's the thing about life. It can pass by in a blink of an eye. You could really be looking forward to something, then when it arrives, it’s over within seconds. You spend all that time waiting and getting exciting. Then when it finally happens, it never lives up to your expectations.
I think we expect too much in this day and age. We day dream and plan and imagine something and it never works out the way we wanted. We are always disappointed. For me, I try not to have high expectations as I know I will be upset when it doesn't turn out how I wanted it to. I think this is why I'm negative about life. I constantly day dream and over think and plan things and they never turn out as I want. Maybe that’s why I became a writer and blogger. So I can write about those things and not feel upset or whatever about how it turns out in the end. I can control what is going to happen, unlike in real life. We can't control everything, people and things are unpredictable. We can't factor in peoples actions because we don’t know what they are thinking. But as a writer, I don't have any of those problems. I can see what my characters are thinking, I can plan their next move or what they are going to say next because I created them. This is why I love being a writer. I can do whatever I want, whatever inspires me at the time and just run with it. There is no definite answer to writing, it’s all up to you, the writer.
I think this is also why I am getting more into photography. I am currently thinking about investing in a camera, I’ve been told a DLSR may be best, but I am welcome to suggestions from you lovely lot. I have never used a proper camera before so I need something simple and easy to use, but is able to take really good quality photos. Feel free to drop me a message below if you have any ideas!
Since I have deprived you all of my amazing, spectacular writing (yeah, I am joking. I write because I want to, not because I want to impress you all) Here is a short stream of consciousness. I will get round to writing properly once my deadlines are over and all work is submitted. My final deadlines are two weeks today EEKK so please bear with me.
This is literally inspired by the first song that came on Spotify after shuffling. Remember that this has not been edited or drafted. It is a raw piece of creative writing that has just popped out of my head.
Song: These Days by Take That.
She’s hanging onto some guy.
How can she not see me?
She’s too busy.
Dancing with strangers,
And drinking whatever's on offer.
She doesn’t care,
She’s not embarrassed, ashamed.
Then there’s me,
Stood in a dark corner,
Avoiding human contact and conversation.
Leaning precariously on a handrail.
A drink in hand,
My thumb covering the top of the bottle.
I’m not taking any chances.
Someone could slip something into my drink.
There where will we be?
In the back of an ambulance, most likely.
She won’t have even noticed.
Perhaps come morning,
When she awakes, hungover in a strangers bed.
Maybe then she’ll wonder where I am.
That’s the thing about nights out.
A group always gets separated,
There’s always one person left alone.
It’s always me.
I’m the one who goes home alone.
Someone bumps into me,
My arm twitches,
And my drink falls from my hand.
It hits the floor with a smash.
No one notices.
The music is too loud, lights are too bright.
I kick the glass towards the wall.
Health and safety and all that.
I cast one last glance to the crowd.
I can just make out a flash of blue.
That’ll be Amy.
A sigh escapes my lips,
As I shove my hands in my pockets and walk out of the club.
I stop a taxi as soon as I set foot outside.
I climb in and sink into the back seat.
“Where to, mate?”
“I have no idea.”
That’s all for today guys. I will try to get another blog out soon and some actual writing as soon as I can.
I’ll leave you with these quotes.
Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. – Heath Ledger, from 10 Things I Hate About You
It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices. – Dumbledore, from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
You cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours. – White Queen, from Alice in Wonderland
I know the life that I live. I know how it's going to end for me. Whatever. I’m okay with that. But I wanted you to know, that when I do picture myself happy, it’s with you. – Supernatural
Until the next time guys!